the Earth Rat

I really like the sound of my new cell phone. I like when the new alarm sounds and wakes me.
I picked up the phone to put it on snooze, so I could lay in bed for a few more minutes. I noticed I had received a message from a friend miles away. It said, “Firecrackers received!”. I knew I wasn’t going to jail. I felt comfort in this.
I decided to turn the snooze off, and go into the bathroom. My face in the mirror sang "God Bless America". Blue under my eyes, red on my cheeks, and the rest was an awfully pale white.
I stood and looked into the mirror, until I was afraid to look anymore.
Water was dripping into a filling pool of itself somewhere in the house. I stood and debated figuring out its origin. I knew if I figured it out, I’d have to fix it.
That’s the problem with figuring out the origin of a problem…once you do, you have to solve the problem. And that there admits there is a problem.
But what if it were a beautiful origin? Like a waterfall dripping into a river on which I could float away? I’d swim along the riverbanks of overgrown green grass and luscious trees. I’d see a centaur, and I’d stop to look at him. We’d stare into each other’s eyes until finally we’d read each other’s minds. I’d know he’d want me to hop on his back so he could take me to a place in the forest that he loved. When we got there, I would gracefully lower myself to the ground and sleep, while the centaur protected me from the mysteries beyond the trees.
I walked into the kitchen on my toes and saw the origin. The sink hooked up to the washing machine was dripping and stopped up again.
The centaur picked up a stick with a giant cobra on it, which he battled with, until he was able to command the cobra to go down the drain and clear the passage to the sewers.
It’s the year of the Earth Rat.
I decided to leave the problem for the next guy to fix.
I went back into the bedroom to grab my phone, and I was off to begin my day.

Righting

I am righting my wrongings.
Like this-
"wrongings" is not a word,
so I will no longer write it.

Dreaming For You

I had a dream last night from your perspective, and you were dreaming about me.
I looked really beautiful in your dream;
through your eyes.
When I awoke in the morning, I couldn’t believe you had let me dream for you.
In all the years we’ve been together, I’ve only dreamt of doing that.

A Conversation On Armageddon

"Where's Thursday's? He's the only one without a story. He must be a mute, I think."

"Well, I got confused, because Thursday means Jupiter's day, and Jupiter is the 5th planet from the Sun, and Thursday is our 5th day, but in most places, calenders begin their weeks on Mondays, making Thursdays the 4th day, but still meaning Jupiter, who is always going to be the 5th planet from the Sun. From the Sunday. You see what I'm saying? Isn't Wednesday truly our 4th day? Mercury's day; the 1st planet from the Sun?
"Well shit, truth is, I thought Wednesday was late enough to be Thursday, and now Friday demands two. Although Tuesday (sounding like "two's " day.. see that throws everything off, too. 2's day is our 3rd day of the week, meaning Mars day, which is the 4th planet from the Sun)...anyways, Tuesday has enough to make up for Thursday, eh?"




(made possible through conversation with dan.)

Toothbrush Fits Easily Inside An Elephant

I saw an elephant who had been spray painted.
I thought it was cute.
I asked the elephant if I could climb inside of him and live there.

No response.

Bloody Mary X 3

I looked into the mirror and my face was completely different.
My eyes were lop-sided.
My lips were huge; all swollen-like.
I felt scared.
Who am I?
Does anybody love me?
(Amanda)
I got a closer look.
I looked into my eyes, and just before I got scared (like when you say your own name over and over again, until it becomes totally unfamiliar), I saw my insides.
I'm healthy.
The way things are on the inside should surely represent the way things are on the outside.
The outside should then be healthy.
Then I internalize the health, and I let the health out again.
Until -finally- nothing seems strange anymore.
The honesty, the love, the good foods..
all should represent Sharon. Sharon. Sharon. Sharon. Sharon. Sharon. Sharon. Sharon. Sharon. Sharon. Sharon. Sharon. Sharon. Sharon. Sharon. Sharon. Sharon. Sharon. Sharon. Sharon. Sharon.
Ah! It worked!

The Evolution Of Freedom

the fly that has been bothering us all day is trapped in a spider's web and the spider is eating the fly.

Improper Haiku

I am making myself write something once a day.
I will write once a day, and contribute a writing per day to my collection.
This way, one day, there will be a collection.

Blow up and Disappear

When I woke this morning, after not really sleeping at all, it was still dark outside. My room was only slightly lit by the motion light on my neighbors house. I began to blow air into my right cheek. I would blow air into it and hold it for a moment. Suddenly, as I would be holding it, smoke would begin to float from my cheek into the air. The smoke would go ahead and take the shape of my cheek before disappearing into the air.
I allowed this to happen too many times before realizing how strange it seemed.
I heard a japanese sounding tone, and it was Scott telling me that I had saved christmas.
I wanted to tell him about my cheek and the smoke, but I was certain he wouldn't believe me.
I fell into sleep again, and had a dream that I was lightly jumping from cloud to cloud in an endless sky, incredibly high.. over nothing.
Scott appeared in my dream and we jumped together.
"Why is there smoke coming from your cheek?", he asked.

Beaver, My Love

We'll get together, almost 30, and only talk in "Remember when.."'s.

10 years later, I still long for Paris

I'm doing a study on paper clips.
I am painting them all the same color, so it is hard to distinguish one from another.
This is a test in love.
If I love them all the same, then I win.

The Invisible Lady

Some people believe there are souls lost in the walls of our houses, but I don't believe I've ever seen a termite wearing shoes.
However, those little noises I only hear at night in the darker hours, may explain the woman who sits on my bed. She just sits there, and I'm not sure she means to scare me as she does.
Sometimes I wonder if she's the invisible lady who watched over me as a child growing up in the circus.
I remember my introduction to the invisible lady: it was late and we were camped in a field somewhere in Utah enroute to our next show. The wind was blowing wildly outside of the trailer that my father and I slept in. I heard someone knocking on the door, and then they opened it. And then they shut it. And then they opened it again. I was surprised that my father didn't wake upon this ruckus, so I woke him myself.
"There's someone at the door", I said.
"It's just the invisible lady" was his reply.
At first I thoguht he was joking, so I decided to ask the siamese twins and the bearded lady what they knew of this invisible lady, come sunrise. I knew clearly at the very thought of my question, it's answer:
There absolutely was an invisible lady in our cicus.
When we arrived in our next show, my father put me to work right away. I would get paid in fake tattooes and cotton candy to deliver things to the tents and trailers. On this particular day, I was delivering a letter to the midget. I liked the midget, because he was very short and I was very smart and so Isaw us as equals. On my way back to my father's tent, where he guessed birthdays and ages of the common folk, the invisible lady was following me. I could hear her walking behind me, but every time I turned around I wouldn't see her.
She was very good at her job. No one ever saw the invisible lady. I wondered how much she was paid and why she didn't eat meals with the rest of us.
Over the years she'd hang around me regualry, quite often. Sometimes she'd kick sand behind me as I made my deliveries, and other times she'd whisper things into my ear as I was falling asleep.
Since she's invisible, she can be anywhere whenever she wants. And since she spent so much time around me as a kid, I figured she liked me a lot. And since she liked me a lot, it didn't surprise me that she'd want to reveal herself to me now... she looks different than I thought. I imiagined her to be more beautiful than the sillohette of a woman who sits on my bed.

Day ONE

I have not eaten.
I am hungry, but my hunger lies in the desire to sleep with you again.
I stuffed this bird for you so that you would not forget the way I used to stuff your bird before.
You would say, "I love you", and "You are beautiful"
and then the stuffing of your bird would explode all over me.
And we'd lay there together;
weightless and free.
Like two unstuffed birds being carried away by the breeze.



(for Scott 10/12/07)

adrenal ease

I'm not feeling well, so
I'm trying to just go with the flow;
to just wing it.
Problem is-
if I could wing anything
it'd be my arms...
and I'd fly away.

Transforming

I am in a hotel room.
I feel good here.
I want to spend more time in hotel rooms
on vacation;
just in the rooms.
And during the day
I will spend my time driving
to another hotel room.

The Wait

I am dating a flower picked by a high school girl in poodle skirt.
"He loves me...
He loves me not...
He loves me...
He loves me not...
He loves me..."

Cherry Red

Today I was scratching my forehead, but rather than feeling the itch being cured upon the sirface of my skin, I felt the dry-saltiness of my skull. So I imagined that I was actually feeling my skull under my fingernails, and not at all the skin.
This caused the blood to rush through my body quickly; and caused my heart to beat so rapidly, I could hardly count it tapping in my chest.
I was driving, but I was able to float out of the car and into the sky, while still driving all at once.
I was two people.
One dead, one alive.
Deep breaths, singing aloud, and prayer couldn't stop my hands from trembling.
This was the panic attack I (almost) had today.