the Earth Rat

I really like the sound of my new cell phone. I like when the new alarm sounds and wakes me.
I picked up the phone to put it on snooze, so I could lay in bed for a few more minutes. I noticed I had received a message from a friend miles away. It said, “Firecrackers received!”. I knew I wasn’t going to jail. I felt comfort in this.
I decided to turn the snooze off, and go into the bathroom. My face in the mirror sang "God Bless America". Blue under my eyes, red on my cheeks, and the rest was an awfully pale white.
I stood and looked into the mirror, until I was afraid to look anymore.
Water was dripping into a filling pool of itself somewhere in the house. I stood and debated figuring out its origin. I knew if I figured it out, I’d have to fix it.
That’s the problem with figuring out the origin of a problem…once you do, you have to solve the problem. And that there admits there is a problem.
But what if it were a beautiful origin? Like a waterfall dripping into a river on which I could float away? I’d swim along the riverbanks of overgrown green grass and luscious trees. I’d see a centaur, and I’d stop to look at him. We’d stare into each other’s eyes until finally we’d read each other’s minds. I’d know he’d want me to hop on his back so he could take me to a place in the forest that he loved. When we got there, I would gracefully lower myself to the ground and sleep, while the centaur protected me from the mysteries beyond the trees.
I walked into the kitchen on my toes and saw the origin. The sink hooked up to the washing machine was dripping and stopped up again.
The centaur picked up a stick with a giant cobra on it, which he battled with, until he was able to command the cobra to go down the drain and clear the passage to the sewers.
It’s the year of the Earth Rat.
I decided to leave the problem for the next guy to fix.
I went back into the bedroom to grab my phone, and I was off to begin my day.